Tim Minchin - Take My Wife!

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world,
Of a single psychic who's been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they are able to read minds.

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world,
Of a single astrologer who's been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they can predict future human events by interpreting celestial signs

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world,
Of a single homeopathic practitioner who's been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that solutions made up infinitely tiny particles of good stuff dissolved repeatedly in to relatively huge quantities of water have a consistently higher medicinal value than a similarly administered placebo

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world,
Of a single spiritual person who's been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power with any consciousness or interest in a human race or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices or that there is any reason other than fear to believe in any version of an afterlife.

I will give you my piano!

One of my legs!

And my wife!